It has been a hell of a ride. A ride that could have easily broken me, but then there’s God. I find it truly amazing how He can take some of our hardest battles and, not long after, bring us peace. And that’s what I feel right now. Peace. What a beautiful thing, right? Something so easy to take for granted.

Writing has helped me reflect in more ways than I probably would have if I had never started that one night in Salzburg. Sitting here now, revisiting the blogs I wrote in that little coffee shop in Salzburg during the summer of 2023—wow. It has been a journey, and a long time coming. I would like to think that journaling, blogging, and continuously writing have become some of my greatest grounding tools. Being able to reflect, process, and breathe through life’s trials has helped me tremendously.

As I sit here writing, I watch my daughter play on the floor. Her little sound box is playing music, and she’s dancing along in her own sweet way. These quiet mornings we share together in the mix of packing our lunches and getting ready for the day are little glimpses of joy that fill my heart. These are the moments I have learned to truly take in and soak up. Moments I no longer take for granted.

They feel even more special now after the nine months it took to reach this place of peace together. To wake up in the quiet comfort of our small but cozy apartment—these are the moments that make the roller coaster ride worth it. What more could I ask for?

Sometimes I can’t help but think about how different our life looks now. And I can only say this: by the grace of God. When I look back at the chaos of our past and compare it to mornings like the one we shared today, all I can say is that God is good. Our lives might not have turned out the way I once imagined in terms of raising a family, but somehow what Alex and I have right now—and everything we still have ahead of us—feels right. And I know that feeling is directly connected to the faith I have in God.

For a long time, I believed “home” meant something very different than it does now. I thought home meant the right relationship, the right timeline, the right career, the right place in the world. I chased travel, independence, success, and the need to prove myself. But none of those things ever gave me the security I was searching for.

Then God showed up and He showed up loud.

He showed me that my foundation needed to be built on His love, His grace, and His truth. He showed me peace in the loudest moments. He showed me love when I felt lost. And He showed me what family truly means by never leaving my side. He was always there with Alex and I.

Through the breaking and rebuilding seasons, we were never abandoned. Looking back now, I can see that God wasn’t destroying my life—He was just rebuilding our foundation. And truthfully speaking, it was both the best and hardest thing that ever happened to me.

Through that season, I also realized my worth was never meant to come from performance, success, approval, or relationships. That entire chapter of my life became a spiritual awakening that led me to a simple but profound truth: my identity comes from belonging to God.

Because of that, life may still feel uncertain at times but I know that I am not.

Yes, Alex and I now have a small apartment we call home, but I have learned that home is no longer a location, a timeline, or a perfect life. Home is walking with God wherever He leads us. We were never lost. We were simply being guided.

And honestly, that’s the beautiful part.

Not knowing exactly where we will be guided next, yet having peace knowing that whatever lies ahead will be better than anything I could have planned myself. Someday I will tell Alex that the life God has for us is always greater than the one we try to design on our own.

I don’t know exactly what the future holds. Maybe more lessons. More growth. Maybe love again. Maybe even raising a backyard football team one day. Who knows? But right now—and I say right now because faith can still be tested—I feel peace and hope for the future ahead of us. I walk forward knowing who I am now and remembering the countless ways God has already provided for us.

Recently during a church service, something simple, yet powerful settled into my heart. Pastor Ashley reminded us that our lives are like vapor—here for a moment and gone the next. For years I lived as if I had endless time to figure everything out, to get my life together, to eventually grow deeper in my faith. Sitting there that morning, I realized there is no better time than now to live fully surrendered to God. Life is too short to stay lukewarm.

A question echoed in my mind that day: If Jesus came back tomorrow, would my life reflect that I truly knew Him?

That question didn’t fill me with fear the way it once might have. Instead, it stirred something deeper—a desire to live urgently and to build my life on a foundation that cannot be shaken.

Because when everything else shifts—relationships, plans, timelines, the future we thought we were building—the only thing that remains steady is God.

If someone had told me years ago that the life I carefully planned would fall apart piece by piece, I would have been terrified. Back then, I believed that if I just worked hard enough and made the right decisions, life would eventually fall into place the way I imagined. But looking back now, I can see something I couldn’t see then.

Every detour, every heartbreak, every confusing season was shaping me. Not into the life I once thought I wanted, but into the woman God was calling me to become. Through the breaking and rebuilding, my faith grew deeper. My heart softened. And my understanding of who I am—and whose I am—finally began to take root. At the end of the day, what I once saw as detours were actually part of the path that led me there.

The truth is, the long way home was never really about finding the right place or the right life.

It was about learning that the only true home my heart was searching for all along was found in Him.