This blog might be thought to be random, but I sometimes I like to take what I learn and put it into writing so that I can really learn it. This post is here just in case there’s someone else who, like me, needed to hear and understand this powerful mindset shift.

A couple of days ago, I listened to a great podcast. It was an episode of The Ed Mylett Show featuring Dr. Benjamin Hardy, titled How to 10x Your Life. If you haven’t listened to any of Mylett’s podcasts, I highly recommend them. They are insightful, motivating, and packed with wisdom.

This particular episode resonated deeply with me, but one concept stood out the most—the idea of buyers vs. sellers, which Dr. Hardy discusses in his book, 10x Is Easier Than 2x.

Buyers vs. Sellers: Understanding the Concept

Let’s start with the buyer. In any situation, a buyer is someone who is willing to walk away from the table if they don’t get what they want. They hold the most power because they come prepared to negotiate, set clear standards, and refuse to settle. A buyer has a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, knowing what they deserve and refusing to accept anything less.

This mindset applies to everything in life. Take food, for example, we are buyers when we choose what we eat. Do we buy food that negatively affects our health, or do we walk away because we’ve set a higher standard for ourselves? The same applies to relationships, career choices, and personal values.

On the other hand, a seller is someone who compromises their standards just to stay at the table longer than they should. They become desperate, lowering their price or adjusting their values to convince others to choose them. Whether they are selling themselves, a product, or an idea, they often don’t realize when they’ve slipped into the seller’s role.

Here’s the key takeaway that struck me the most: The second you convince someone that you need them more than they need you, you lose power. When that shift happens, the buyer gains control, knowing you aren’t going anywhere. At that moment, you’ve given up your leverage, and the dynamics of the situation are no longer in your favor.

The Role of Emotional Intelligence

This entire concept ties back to emotional intelligence. To fully embrace it, you have to become highly aware of your actions and decisions, especially in the small moments of everyday life. When I first heard this podcast, I immediately reflected on times when I had unknowingly taken on the seller role.

I think this is a major learning curve for everyone, and I know it is for me. I’ve been guilty of this in my recent dating experiences. Dr. Hardy explains that the best relationships are those where both people are buyers—where both individuals come to the table with clear expectations, strong standards, and a mutual desire to be together. A powerful relationship is one where both people choose to love each other because they want to, not because they need to.

Maybe I was so drawn to this podcast because it said everything I needed to hear and wished I had heard years ago. But I also believe these concepts can be life-changing for anyone willing to implement them.

The Importance of Slowing Down

Dr. Hardy also emphasizes that to develop these strategies and build stronger character traits, we have to be comfortable with slowing down. This struck me because I tend to rush through things, aiming for efficiency rather than patience. I sometimes cut corners, and it shows.

This realization was important for me to absorb because I can see how true it is. In order to get what I truly want, I need to practice patience. We’ve all heard the saying, “Good things take time” or “Nothing great happens in a hurry.” Learning to slow down, analyze situations, and negotiate for exactly what I want is something I will be focusing on. I now understand that if I don’t get what I want, I should be willing to walk away and wait for a better opportunity.

Final Thoughts

The biggest takeaway from this episode is that we are all capable of setting higher standards for ourselves. We don’t have to settle. It’s time to stop selling ourselves short and start stepping into the buyer role in every aspect of life. Everyone deserves to have what they hope and dream for, but it requires confidence, patience, and the ability to walk away from anything that doesn’t align with our values.

If this concept resonates with you, I highly recommend listening to the full podcast episode. Below, I’ve attached the link so you can check it out yourself.

🎧 Listen to the podcast here

Xoxo, Harleigh