Booking my one-way flight was probably one of the boldest things I’ve ever done. Telling my family about it took even more courage. Some of them probably saw it coming, but for others, it was a complete surprise. Overall, I had incredible support for my decision, but I also heard plenty of people say, “She’s out of her mind.” Some of the people I love most questioned why I would leave when I had everything I needed to be successful right at home. Those were the hardest questions to answer because, honestly, there was no logical response that would make sense. It was a gut feeling, something I simply couldn’t ignore anymore and that was the only answer I had.

It’s easy to let others influence you, especially when you feel lost. That was me not too long ago. I had all the opportunities to start a job that aligned with my degrees, and I had people who wanted to help me succeed. I will always be grateful for my family and friends who cared enough to share their advice, but I’ve learned there’s a balance to be found. You have to take other people’s perspectives into account while still prioritizing what you truly want.

Over time, I noticed a pattern within myself. A pattern of self-destruction. Deep down, I knew from the beginning that I didn’t want to stay in Arizona. But for some reason, I felt like I had to. Coming home from Germany, it felt like the easiest option, the most comfortable. That’s probably why I experienced so much inner turmoil. I knew deep down that life in Arizona would be too easy, and I wasn’t ready for that.

To cope, I started subconsciously filling my time with plans that kept me somewhat grounded. From the moment I returned to the U.S. until the day I booked my one-way flight, I was looking for anything to keep me tied to Arizona. I signed up for a bikini-bodybuilding competition, investing thousands of dollars, only to drop out halfway through training. I learned so much about fitness and my health that I don’t regret it, but had I known I’d be returning to Europe, I probably wouldn’t have committed to such a long-term goal, much less an expemsive one. I even signed up for six months of laser hair removal – another costly investment. A month before I booked my flight, I bought a gently used BMW. Then, to top it all off, I committed to a two-year tooth-straightening retainer program. Some of these things I wish I could just make up.

I was doing all these things because I was absorbing everyone else’s thoughts about what I should do. Most of their ideas were rooted in keeping me in Arizona. I was being pulled in every direction, and it was overwhelming. So much so that I couldn’t even hear my own voice. But we can only lie to ourselves for so long. Eventually, I reached my breaking point and finally said, I’m going back to Europe, and I’m not looking back.

I share this because I hope, against all odds, that one day you’ll wake up and say, This is what I’m doing. Follow your heart. Chase your dreams. Do what feels right, even if it doesn’t make sense to anyone else. You never know where it might lead you, and that is the most beautiful part of the journey. 

Xoxo, Harleigh